Oooh Wee!

2009-04-22T21:48:00.002-04:00

I'm not great at blogging, or keeping in touch with people in general, but I can tell you some things about the last nine months:

- It's been pretty emotional. I did good at my birthday resolution of positivity for about 3 weeks, then some personal stuff happened and it has been a rollercoaster ever since. Thankfully, it has recently reached a plateau and I couldn't be more thankful for it. I still have some emotional evening out to do, but I think I am headed in the right direction.

- I'm slowly making myself leave the house and do stuff, hoping it will help me get over my social anxiety. I made a really good friend in the last six months, so we try to get out at least once a week. Upcoming events: This American Life live broadcast and Roller Derby Match! Super fun, man. SUPER FUN.

- In other news, I am anticipating a surgical consult for my right hand. It seems that my hand function went down the drain as soon as we all rang in the new year.

I'm gonna get better at all of this. Promise.

33 days in.

2008-08-07T23:52:00.000-04:00

I've not been good about blogging since turning 26. I thought I might use it at a catalyst to living each day as if it were my last.

For a long time, I don't know how long...I've been thinking that I wouldn't live past 26. It's not like I'm afraid of getting old, but I just always thought I'd die on or during my 26th year. So, this is it.

But, I thought for a bit that I wouldn't even make it. The night before my birthday I nearly got killed by a driver who may or may not have been drunk. But, had he not swerved at the last minute to avoid my car (which had been waiting, with the blinker on, for cars to pass so I could turn left), I would've been rear ended at about 65-70 mph. My body is too weak, I tensed up and watched the pick-up truck get closer and closer until the lights in my rearview mirror were blinding me. Thankfully for the both of us, he swerved and I could feel the rush of air caused by his car passing me with not much space to spare.

Since then, I don't think I've had any near misses in the car. Woot woot!

I've got a few goals for this year, though:
+ Starting on my birthday, I have consciously tried to pass on thriving on sarcasm, and to really make an effort remain positive even in tough circumstances.

+Living as if it's my last. No, I'm not going to go crazy, but I will take advantage of opportunities that I feel will in some way contribute positively to my life.

+Should I make it to 27, I plan to do the Coney Island Polar Bear Swim on New Years Day. I decided that I wanted to do it after seeing Extreme Maggie do it. Yes, I'm a little crazy. It's okay. I own it!

+ New ink.

That's really it.

Oh, and I'm trying that 365 Project again.

Just incase you forgot what a gem this movie was...

2008-07-17T19:09:00.000-04:00

Twenty-six

2008-07-05T23:54:00.004-04:00

Dear birthday,
You were a pretty good one today....you started slow with a coffee from Starbucks, followed by a few hours of design work. Calls from relatives were received, the first of which was nephew number 3 (I'm pretty sure he's 10), calling from his cell phone. My sister (who called much later in the day) says he's very big on calling people for his birthday...it was very sweet and appreciated. We caught up on how his summer is going, how school ended up, etc.

A bit later I drove up to Grand Rapids to see my oldest nephew play in a baseball tournament. His team won this morning, but lost the afternoon game.

Back to my sister's house afterward for cake and prezzies. I lucked out with cash/gift cards which are one-size-fits all. I will definitely make the most out of those. New shoes & tattoo? Sounds good to me!

I am once again attempting the 365 project....documenting the 365 days of my 26th year. I'll write more about that tomorrow, but for tonight, I'm ready to hit the sack.

xo,
V

Just a few days shy of 26.

2008-07-03T23:13:00.003-04:00

My 26th birthday is on Saturday and every year, I view it as a chance to re-evaluate the new year's resolutions I set at the beginning of the year. Though, as I look through some archives, I'm unable to find any that I might've made for 2008. So, I guess I get to really start with a clean slate. Being twenty-six has an odd sort of significance which I will post about soon, but I'm excited for this year to really get going.

Tomorrow I'll be spending part of the morning working on a logo for a local hand surgeon. I told him I'd have stuff for him in two weeks...well, two weeks is tomorrow, so I need to get to work.

Since my dad is working an odd schedule at work, my mom drove up to Michigan today. It's nice to have her here on my birthday, even though there are no real plans for the day.

Ah well. On we go!

I love Fridays...and these things, too:

2008-06-13T09:41:00.003-04:00

Today is friday and I thought I would share somethings with you.

Gala Darling
Over the last few weeks, I've been getting my daily dose of Gala Darling. I found her on flickr sometime last year when I was looking at tattoos. She's got some AMAZING ink, and that's just the beginning. Gala is a one-woman style powerhouse and I kind of love that.

Buck Hollywood
If you've been on YouTube at all this week, you probably caught a thumbnail from his Dance video as he and his fans join in the biggest YouTube Dance Battle. Find him over at Buck Hollywood.

Cyndi Lauper
Wednesday night I went to the True Colors Tour show in Detroit and it was beyond amazing...for a few reasons:

I've already mentioned my love for The B52s. They were amazing, and played everything I could've wanted. Kate, Cindy, and Fred sounded awesome, just like they have for decades.
Cyndi Lauper blew me away. I didn't care so much about seeing her, but she truly rocked the place that night. Consider me a fan, now....go download "Into the Nightlife."

Though it may sound corny, part of why I thought the show was so amazing was because there was this collection of queer folks, their hags, their dyke tykes, allies, etc. Everyone just "got it." Everyone there understood the inequality that our community faces everyday. That we can't hold our partner's hand in public, without the fear of verbal or physical abuse by passersby, we don't necessarily have the right to visit our partner in the hospital, and for some reason, our relationships aren't seen as 'valid' as hetero relationships.

Everyone there that night understood that..and to me, that was so much bigger than any flamboyant Gay Pride parade or festival in the world.
Thoughts of Travel
All I think about these days is a trip out west to Seattle or Portland.

New Beginnings...and the B52's

2008-06-05T23:24:00.002-04:00

Tonight was a new beginning for me. Some readers (ie - my friends that read this) know I've had Rheumatoid Arthritis for about 20 years at this point. I've been on a slew of meds for it my whole life. 2 years ago when I moved to Michigan, I had to find a new Rheumatologist. She had me try Enbrel, and ohmygod, it was like a total miracle. No pain/stiffness/swelling, etc. I've been on this med for almost two years, but have continued to struggle with the sting. Pre-filled? Ow. Sure-click? OHMYGOD, OW!

It was my first night on the mixable version of Enbrel.
Sometimes it would take me 3-4 hours to actually administer the Sure-Click, so I asked my doctor about the mixable version. I'd read online (oddly enough, over at Ravelry) that the mixable version doesn't sting...it just takes a bit longer because of the setup. After the amount of time I'd spend trying to deal with the Sure-Click, I knew I had to try this.

It only took about 5 minutes to mix up, 10 to fully dissolve, and maybe 10 before I got the nerve to hit the needle to the skin. That's way quicker - AND PAINLESS! Woot Woot!

In non-medical news, I saw Tom Petty last Saturday in Detroit and he was amazing. I cried during "Free Fallin'" and danced like no one was watching during "American Girl." What a great show, I'm so glad I was able to see him finally.

Next Wednesday, I'm off to see Cyndi Lauper/The B52's (!!!!!!!!)/Tegan & Sara/The Cliks. Is it bad that I don't care too much about anyone but the B52's? My love for them is another blog post for another day.

My laziness shows in my blog, too!

2008-06-02T20:29:00.003-04:00

Blogging for LGBT Families!

My workplace participated in a health study and for the first time, I took part as well. For the most part, my results didn't surprise me - I have poor nutrition & fitness habits. What did happen to catch me off guard is that my bad cholesterol is rather high. Ah well, hopefully if I increase the exercise part, everything else will even out.

In other news, I have a flare for completely redonkulus items that would be better left unpurchased...just about every other pay day I spend money on things like this:

I plan to buy those in a few weeks as a birthday present to myself...as if paying for my car insurance wasn't gift enough. :)

Ps - Did I mention that I'm going to see New Kids on the Block in Detroit? Yeah, I so am.

May 28, 2008.

2008-05-28T22:49:00.003-04:00

Tonight I went for a walk. A friend of mine works a few blocks from my apartment, so I gathered a few things and headed out the door. Much of the walk, I kept thinking, "I can't believe I'm walking somewhere. This is so not like me." But, it's something I'm trying to do - walk a few days every week.

At work, my department will soon be relocating to a new building, so I've got to pack up my desk a bit. My current cube is decorated with 5 Kermit the Frog dolls in various sizes and other small toys that would amuse a 5 year old. The new cube will have 1 kermit doll, a Sunshine Buddy, and maybe some photos. And Ellen. Pictures of Ellen, because sometimes it's just nice to look up and see something that will make me smile. Either way, the new place will have a more streamlined (but fun!) look that I can't wait to make a reality.

Also, I was relieved to hear that Kirsten Dunst made a statement saying that she sought treatment for depression. I found it kind of refreshing that someone in young hollywood sought help for something other than a substance abuse problem.

Turning a corner

2008-05-21T23:11:00.003-04:00

I didn't hit bottom, I've been in a worse mental space than just recently, but thankfully something has sparked.

I feel like my mind has been a million miles a minutes with thoughts - it's all been work related stuff, but since I've been in such a rut with that, it's nice to feel some sort of passion at all. I think once I spill my thoughts to the necessary people, re-organize my work-life, I think I'll be more prepared to deal with more personal dilemmas. That's kind of how I work - I only have enough...mind power to deal with one big thing at a time. Since my work affects my cashflow, I've got to deal with that first.

I was going to post a video clip from E!'s Girls Next Door where Bridget Marquardt dresses her dog up as a bunny, but Wednesday goes "Dogatonic." However, it appears that clip has been removed from YouTube and I can't find it anywhere. It's the best clip from that show. Ever. It can cheer anyone up.
JEN FOUND IT!

Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone...

2008-05-18T10:17:00.001-04:00

When I was little, my sister worked at an ice cream shop which sold Blue Moon ice cream. I became fixated on it, maybe because I wasn't sure I'd even seen blue food (blueberries don't count - they're purple!)...and here it was. Blue. Ice Cream. Could it get any better for a 7 year-old? NO.

After my sister left the shop, I was always on the hunt for Blue Moon. Dairy Queen? No. 32 Flavors? Nope. We didn't really have any options apart from that, so I was stuck. No Blue Moon. A few years before I moved to Michigan, I went to an ice cream shop which DID have it, but it tasted like glass cleaner. I couldn't remember what the original stuff tasted like, but surely it didn't taste like cleaning supplies.

This past Wednesday I found out that our local grocer sold Blue Moon ice cream. I can't even tell you how happy it made me to find that in the freezer section. Thankfully, it does NOT taste like the last Blue Moon I'd had last time.

43 Things

2008-05-15T20:57:00.003-04:00

Last year I heard about 43 Things at BlogHer in Chicago.

Today, I created an account there and you can follow the 43 things (or 23 things, currently) that I want to do...in a years time? in a lifetime? I don't know. Maybe some within the next year. Right now they are in no particular order...except maybe #1 - Visit Seattle.

Anyway, I'll be add that and linking to the various sites where you can find me over there on right in a new menu.

I think something recently sparked me.

Did some sort of inspiration hit? That might be the case!

Trying to find that place where I belong

2008-05-08T20:31:00.001-04:00

I'm pretty happy with Coldplay's new single, Viva la Vida. I just pre-ordered the album and got the single and uhm...yeah, I kind of love it just 30 seconds in.

I've been unbelieveably unmotivated this week. Well, for like a month, probably. Ever since my section of the department moved upstairs. No windows nearby...two of my best friends have moved on to management (I'm not interested in Management at all), so I'm the senior person in my little section. It's kind of terrifying. I should be setting a good example for the newer folks, but guh. I kind of hate it.

I've been thinking more and more about work and life and what I want to do with it. I'm thinking I don't want to live in a garden level apartment. I want a two-bedroom condo on the second floor with a little balcony. It doesn't have to be fancy or anything, just as long as it's atleast as decent as the place I am living now.

Everyday it seems to be a daunting task to slip in to work, sit in a cubicle for 8 hours writing promotional emails, trying to sell certain financial services and products to people. I like what I've learned about finance and active writing, but...my heart is not in it at all.

Maybe it's a rough patch, or maybe it's a sign of bigger things to come.

I graduated with a degree in graphic design, I'm a fairly creative person. But since moving to Michigan, I've not found myself motivated or inspired enough to do anything creative or artistic. I'll never get a portfolio together, though I should if I ever plan to get out of the current place I'm in.

Travel has been on my mind...trying to find the place where I belong...because I don't think this is it.

Seattle or Portland sounds good to me right about now.

Potpourri for $500, Alex.

2008-05-06T22:33:00.002-04:00

Tonight I went with a co-worker to see a former co-worker who'd just given birth to her first baby yesterday. Seeing her with her baby tonight I finally saw her as a mom. She was the same woman who, shortly after finding out she was preggers, said, "I can go back to work after like 2 weeks, right? I'm going to be bored out of my MIND at home."

I don't have any kids of my own, but I do have four nephews and after just a day with them when they were bebehs, that in no way will you ever be bored out of your mind with an infant in the house.

She's going to be a good mom. Yay, Jules!

After the baby visit, I went to dinner with my friend Kate. Kate's margarita hit her kind of quick, so I called her Tila Tequila for the rest of the evening. The dinner was good, the drinks were better, and the conversation was pretty damn awesome. Kate and I somehow managed to plow through 2 hours of conversation...which, if you know either of us in real life, is pretty funny.

Why is Denise Richards going to have her own reality show type thing? I keep seeing this commercial and can only wonder - why is she even famous - because she married Charlie Sheen? She's not that pretty and she's an awful actress. I usually can only remember her from when she was on Saved By the Bell when the peeps worked at the beachhouse and AC Slater saved her from "drowning."

This week's podcast of "This American Life" (What I Learned from Television) is maybe the funniest one I've heard in a long time. Go listen to it if you don't already.

Pink Giraffes

2008-05-05T22:37:00.000-04:00

My mother came up north this past weekend for an athletic booster fundraiser for my nephew's school system. My sister (not this nephew's mom) happened to win the big prize - $5k.

This year, I got pretty toasted. Now, what you have to keep in mind is that this whole thing starts at 5P and we don't even start dancing until like 11. That's six hours of mind-numbing conversation I'm forced to participate in. I'm not a particularly social person, infact, I quite hate small talk & large groups of people.

This year I came up with a drink that not only numbed my mind, but pretty much everything else. I've named it Pink Giraffe. It's two-parts pink lemonade, one-part strawberry vodka (or you can just make it even, whatevs). Fresh basil is optional. Either way, it's probably the best drink I've ever had in my life.

I had eight of those, and one french lemonade, but i'm not sure what that consists of. It was no pink giraffe! I drank early and often, but cut myself off about 9:30, peed about 10 times, then drank my weight in water for the rest of the evening.

I'm just tellin' ya. Pink Giraffes...remember that. Those drinks are some goooood times.

For those of us who miss Tim Gunn

2008-05-05T13:52:00.003-04:00

May 2, 2008.

2008-05-02T20:18:00.001-04:00

May 2, 2008.
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

Even though it started really early, friday flew by for me, I don't know about you.

- I left an hour early for my doctor appointment.
- Boss bought lunch for the department.
- Via QueerCents (by far my favorite personal finance blog), I found out that Kate Pierson of the B52's (the redhead) is gay.
- I also found out about this blog and I might have spent a bit of my day reading every entry. Those ladies are hilarious.

I'm reading Bonk by Mary Roach these days. I'm not much of a reader at all, but hot damn, I kind of zip through her stuff. Her first book, Stiff is one of my favorite reads. I also bought her follow up to Stiff, Spooked - I'll start that after I finish this book.

Plus - More strawberry vodka drink! WOOT WOOT! I've got to come up with a name for it before tomorrow night. Any thoughts?

Thieved!

2008-04-14T18:36:00.002-04:00

Last night someone stole my doormat.

I figured it would happen and when I told my mom about the street toughs outside my door last night, she said, "You were afraid of that, weren't you?" "Yes," I replied, "It's exactly what I was afraid of which is why I even hesitated buying it."

But look how CUTE it was - See the end of this girl's post.

Just last week, I was thinking that I should take a picture of it...because, hell, it was super cute.

I keep wanting to tape a note to my door:

"To the people who took my doormat Sunday night,
Thank you for taking one of the things that made this apartment my home.
Sincerely,
#5."

Vegan Cupcake Day has been postponed

2008-04-13T15:52:00.002-04:00

Today was my first trip to the local healthy living store. Everything is healthy and organic, not to mention effin' expensive. I went in for one thing - non-hydrogenated shortening for some vegan cupcakes I had planned to make today, and ended up spending $7 on just that.

Even though it's expensive, I can see myself going back there probably once a month to integrate some healthier foods. I don't see myself ever going vegan, but I'm not opposed to sprinkling in a sinfully vegan meal or snack or two. Infact, I'm pretty excited about it. :-D

My guess is that over the last 24 hours, I've probably spent about $30 on supplies for the cupcakes - but, you know, most, if not all, will last for a few vegan cupcake days.

I'll have to buy a flour sifter before I get to bakin', and probably need to get my oven looked at...and then it's vegan cupcake day. Woot Woot!

Just a day in the life.

2008-04-06T16:52:00.001-04:00

IMG_2077
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

Happy Sunday!

I'm going to try to get better about blogging!

A leisurely day off!

2008-03-20T22:34:00.001-04:00

It's been a whirlwind of a week and I'm taking tomorrow off! I feel like I'm running on empty. I've not slept well in months, and I tend to think it's related to the depression. But, I'm afraid to take some OTC stuff for fear that I'll sleep through half of the day.

Tomorrow, I'm either going to Chicago, or Detroit. The Chicago area is supposed to get a snowstorm, so if the weather peeps actually get it right, we'll be headed to the high-end mall near detroit. But, if the weather peeps are wrong, we're going to see the Edward Hopper exhibit at the Art Institute.

In other news - I went to the local yarn shop with a few friends from work. I had hoped to pick up some cotton tape for a shrug I was super excited to start working on....however, they didn't have any colors that really jumped out at me. BUT, I did get some yarn for a hat I plan to knit for a flickr-er. :) I couldn't leave there with a purchase in hand. I'm not one to buy something just to have some fancy yarn stash. That goes against my finance principles. Though it was kind of hard not to purchase 13 balls of yarn for a sweater I've been thinking and dreaming about for a year.

SOON!

Lazy Sunday...and BlogHer.

2008-03-16T17:45:00.002-04:00

It's quarter till six, and I just got my ass off the couch. A day well spent!

I couldn't sleep last night, so I knit until 2 and went to bed about 3. When I woke up at 11 I made myself a little brekkie, and then off to the couch to knit away at my second mitten that I started late Friday night/early Saturday morning. I think I've only got 30 rnds to go - only 1200 stitches to go!

Today I found out that Dooce will be speaking at BlogHer 08 in San Francisco.

Many thanks to my employer, I attended BlogHer '07 in Chicago (granted I stayed at my parents house and took the train in...spent a whopping $63 between food, drinks, and 4 train trips total).

I don't think I'll be lucky enough to attend this year, but I'll be watching coverage via live-bloggers at the conference. Terribly exciting for those who do go!

A free weekend!

2008-03-14T20:28:00.002-04:00

Bre-Ann is on her way up to visit me this weekend. Do you know that this is kind of the first time I've ever "entertained" someone? I have no idea what to do. I'm hoping we'll geek out and go photo-ing around town or something.

I talked to Sarah today and I suggested that maybe we (Bre-Ann and I) go get ourselves a crotch-waxin'.

Okay, so I just got off the phone with Bre-Ann....due to issues with her car, she will NOT be visiting this weekend...so I can hold on to my jungle bush for a little bit longer. In the meantime, I'm gonna finish knittin' my mitten...maybe enjoy a run to the LYS (local yarn shop for you non-fiber folks)...and maybe pickup SingStar 80's so I can drink alone and sing karaoke to my cat.

Good times...Goodtimes....

Race Against Time...

2008-03-13T23:01:00.002-04:00

Today I worked a 12.5-hour day. Though, I did spend 30 minutes knittin' my mitten. So, technically, it was only a 12-hour day.

I'm fighting a race against time to get a big project done, the front page of the company website, and clean the apartment before a friend from Indianapolis visits.

This weekend is going to be great for a few reasons:

a.) I'm gonna have a visitor for the first time since.....uhm....Erin and Kate stayed the night for New Years Eve (06/07) after dancing at the lawyer bar.

b.) I'm buying tickets for the True Colors Tour, Rod Stewart, and MAYBE Melissa Etheridge in Chicago. OH. And the Edward Hopper exhibit in Chicago for next week!

c.) It's spring-y...and I kind of like that.

More tomorrow! My laptop is about to die!

2008-03-10T23:05:00.002-04:00

I'm gonna get in the swing of things soon enough...

2008-02-27T18:12:00.002-05:00

Via Staci over at verypink I decided to try the ol' celeb look-alike thing with two very different looks I've had over the last few years.

I'm pretty happy to see Alyson Hannigan on there, I have to say. When I was in high school I would get that alot - "Do you watch Buffy? You kind of look like Willow."

The Femme:

The Not-So-Femme:

Probably the worst clone evah.

2008-02-25T20:33:00.001-05:00

Probably the worst clone evah.
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

I got the girls together for a little dance party.

Here's tonight's playlist:
Mark Ronson - Inversion (seriously, this song is amazing - listen)
Mark Ronson - Ooh Wee (Mark Ronson is pretty much my fav right now - listen)
The Reason - We're So Beyond This (feat. Sara Quin - <3's it
George Michael - Freedom
Aretha "The Queen" Franklin - Think
Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You (Watch it!)
Hatiras - Something About You (Radio Edit)
The Pipettes - Pull Shapes (it's all buck's fault that I love this song)
Melissa Etheridge - Meet Me In the Back
Tegan & Sara - Hop a Plane
ELO - Mr. Blue Sky
Raymond Castellon - Tu No Me Quieres Na
Pink - God is a DJ
Bob Dylan - Someday Baby
Madonna - Music Inferno
Jamie Lidell - Multiply (one day, I'll dance with my lover to this song, in the kitchen while we make dinner. I think it's kind of hot.)
Fatboy Slim - That Old Pair of Jeans (in a hooping video)
Paolo Nutini - New Shoes (it just makes me smile)
Brandi Carlile - Closer to You
Gabin - Into My Soul
Earth, Wind, & Fire - September (remix)
Kinky - The Headphonist (if I ever have a fashion show, this will be the song used on the runway. it makes for some fierce walkin')

It's almost home.

2008-02-07T21:35:00.000-05:00

For the first time in two weeks, I left work on time at 5 p.m. It's good and bad...still no cable, so I haven't turned the TV on in two weeks (thank god I have people.com and CNN.com to feed my insatiable thirst for world craziness...and more centralized craziness in Hollywood).

Tonight I got home at about 6 after running to the old apartment to check for mail and other possible catastrophes. Once at the new place, I promptly changed into my flannel PJs pants, knock-off skull print sneakers, and popped in disc 3 of Sex & the City, Season 3.

I decided that after two weeks with having my books strewn about the living room, that it was time to do something, even if it's temporary. So, I put all the books on my shelf, DVDs in their place, hung a print and I may even get around to taming my greys.

All in all, the place is coming together quite nicely. Next payday I'm looking forward to the purchase of a microwave stand and maybe some shelving options for my pantry.

Pics soon.

From Heartbroken to Heartbreakers

2008-02-05T23:19:00.001-05:00

I wrote this a few days ago when I was still internet-less. I'm back now, but I thought this should be posted anyway.

This year has been kind of crappy. After talking with a few friends, we've determined that January was just a shitty month and should be disregarded entirely. Nothing good came of January! Start 2008 on February 1.

First my grandma dies. Then my girlfriend dumps me, and she's been busy ignoring me and making me feel as if I should be punished. She dumped me for another woman, and I'm the one working to maintain a friendship. I'll never figure out women and their games.

Really, though, after a few days of being filled to the brim with anger, I was fine. I was ready to talk - ready to just be friends. I'd thrown out the pictures and deleted all text messages that had some sort of...memory that accompanied my pure happiness for a few months. Our emails still sit in my yahoo account, and I suspect that someday soon I'll get around to deleting them as well.

While I am constantly working to improve my optimism, removing all thought of her seems to be the only way to cut out that part of my memory - Out of Sight, Out of mind. Essentially, it's an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind of my very own...without the brain damage.

Last weekend I moved into my new apartment and I'm learning to live without the internet. Blog posts are typed in advance in TextEdit on my laptop, then taken to blogger when I get internet access. Though, I'm still checking my email via my cellphone on a regular, compulsive basis.

Today, however, I feel as if something changed....in a minor way, but it's a change, regardless. Today I purchased tickets to see Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. I read the pre-sale email on my phone two nights ago as I lay in my bed in my, still unfamiliar, 'home.'

My first memory of Tom Petty was the video for "Don't Come Around Here No More." I was a kid and it was an Alice in Wonderland inspired video, a perfect match if you ask me. It was probably the first music video I ever really paid attention to and retained. For years I wanted a birthday cake in the shape of a life-sized Alice.

But, as I grew older, I paid attention to the music that my peers were listening to...until I was a high school junior or senior. I fell in love with Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac, and was reunited with Tom Petty. By the time I realized what I'd missed out on, I thought I'd never see Tom Petty in concert. He's no spring chicken! Two years ago when he toured, I tried (but failed) to get a few tickets to his show with Stevie Nicks.

So, when the pre-sale came about, I had to jump on it. I am going to see Tom Petty.

He was the last person on the list of musicians I wanted to see before either I die, or they die...whichever comes first.

Who was on the list?
Fleetwood Mac
Stevie Nicks
Tom Petty
John Mellencamp
Madonna

U2 is a maybe. I'd love to see U2, (TANGENT ALERT! TANGENT ALERT!) but I sort of feel as if it would get too political (granted they're all getting political these days). I don't want to go to a concert to get bogged down by all the crap going on in the world - I go to the concert to escape it all for a few hours.

Both Sheryl Crow and John Mellencamp had pretty political shows in the last few years and I don't see it slowing much. The music is going to continue to get more political as the world gets crazier.

I guess I have more issues when pop goes political. I listen to Ani Difranco, Hamell on Trial, and a few other artists who put out overtly political music. It's expected to get a long, drawn-out speech about the injustice in the world from those artists...but when your average rocker starts getting overly political and eco-conscious, it gets a little dull.

Just give me your pop and rock, and get on with the show.

Movin' on up to the South-East Side!

2008-01-26T00:20:00.000-05:00

This could be the last blog I write from my first apartment. My parents have come up for the weekend to help me move the rest of my big furniture (mattresses, couch, desk, etc.).

Tomorrow has the potential to be the first day of well...the rest of my year.

I've been sleeping on a mattress on the floor in my bedroom, with my electric blanket turned up to 8 because it's been unbelievably drafty.

But, on nights like tonight, I can see a glimmer from the streetlight reflecting on the glitter-like snow falling outside my window.

I might miss that a little.
That and covered parking -- THAT I will miss.

I'm not sure when I'll have internet again, but I hope to steal from someone in the new building for a few days until mine is set up.

Bye, dudes.

Time to move on...

2008-01-19T18:21:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm movin' on. I've got to, or I'll just sit in a puddle of my own sadness. Each day is a little better, and while I'm still sorting through some feelings...I'm almost back to normal (normal for me, anyway).

I'm in the midst of packing of two years of my life into boxes, suitcases and bags...only start over in a new place which may or may not be worse. But, I'm hopefully about it! It looks better than my current place, has cheaper laundry facilities, seems to have quieter tenants and the front door of the building (once again next to my apartment) doesn't slam.

It's a fresh start! AND, I'm getting a kitchen table (it was my late grandmother's). HOORAY! KITCHEN TABLE! That alone makes me feel like a grown up. hahahaha

On a side note - I recently changed my photo on an online dating site and seem to only get smiles from creepy bi-sexual chicks. No thanks, ya'll. Guess I need to put some more homely looking pictures on their to weed out the weirdos. haha

Day 14 - Part Two.

2008-01-15T00:32:00.001-05:00

Day 14 - Part Two.
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

She met someone else.

It's an occupational hazard of Long-Distance Relationships. I had told her from the start that if she met someone, just to tell me.

I do much better with honesty than avoidance...which has pretty much drained all the energy from my body over the last two days. I couldn't sleep last night because I was so frazzled over the lack of communication, was a complete grumpy-pants at work and completely lost my appetite so I've eaten next to nothing all day. I'm already skinny, that's not something I should pick up!

She's a beautiful, smart, funny and hardworking woman. Who wouldn't be attracted to her?

But, dammit. I was really looking forward to her visiting me next month for Valentine's Day. I was ready to wine, dine and spoil her rotten.

I wish her to find the love and happiness that she deserves. I can't give that to her...and she deserves it. No matter what.

I'll just spend Valentine's Day at home with a bottle of wine, free internet porn, and my yet-to-be-purchased battery-operated friend.

Movin' on up to the South-East Side!

2008-01-13T17:00:00.000-05:00

I'm in between apartments. All the small things from my life at Apartment #4 are slowly disappearing and being thrown in piles at Apartment #5.

I've got until February 22nd to get everything out of #4 and turn in my keys, but as the days go by and I get more stuff moved over...I find myself thinking that I've got to slow things down...that I'm moving too fast. But...that's kind of what I want.

I've moved everything myself thus far with no help from anyone...but I'm really bad about asking for help anyway. I guess it's a pride issue. B would says that the stubborn-ness is a trait I can blame on being born an astrological Cancer.

It's probably 3 times worse than that right now.

A Helluva Start to 2008

2008-01-03T22:37:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting in the local Starbucks in my hometown. I'm here for my paternal grandmother's funeral. I told my family that I was heading here to do some things for work, but it seems as if I'm getting sidetracked working on the 31 Days to Fix My Finances .

This has been an odd week. My GramB died on Sunday and I seem to be less than affected by it. I mean, she wanted to go, so I'm happy she got what she wanted. We want our loved ones to be happy and as hard as it was to see her in her recent condition, I knew she was heading in the direction of being where she wanted.

I had a conversation with my girlfriend which started with me asking if she thought she could grow to love me. I don't know why, but I get really awkward in relationships, and they never last long. Not to mention that I've yet to have a real in-person relationship. I guess in a way, it's a security blanket for me. I can have an emotional outlet for love, but I maintain my independence. Anyway, she asked if I would be willing to move if our relationship continued and went long-term.

I'd thought about the possibility of moving to NY to be with her. I had decided that if we went long-term, that I would be the one to move anyway. She runs her own business, which is not an easy thing to move. However, I have a SWEET job with amazing co-workers, boss and amazing benefits that take care of my costly health issues. Letting go of the benefits is what has caused an amazing amount of anxiety in me in the last 24 hours. I just don't know how to deal with that.

The thought of living in domestic bliss, fixing up her house, decorating it and making it ours...it's just the most wonderful thought...but, our relationship is still young, still has time to flounder and flop before I even have the opportunity to think about moving states away (I'm just getting into an 18-month lease).

It's time to suck it up and live without hesitation.

Catching Up

2007-11-18T18:34:00.000-05:00

Alright, I'm gonna try this whole blogging thing again. I was really excited about it after attending the BlogHer Conference at the end of July.

Let's see what we've missed:

I secured my geekiness by knitting my first pair of socks:

They fit, but they really aren't that comfy, much to my chagrin.

I knit an owl:

That's also the last thing I've knit. barf.

Mid-October:
I met a wonderful woman online. For a while I thought she hated me, then I thought maybe she was a 40-year old man who wrote me in his underwear...and even though I thought this, I still decided to make a 3.5 hour drive to Cleveland to meet "her." Fortunately, it turned out she was real- not a 40-year mantie wearing guy, nor was she a crazed killer. She was/is charming.

We're planning a follow up visit for December.

November 1st and 5th I went to some concerts:
John Mellencamp and Bruce Springsteen.

You can't really tell, but that's Bruce and the E Street Band. It was a fucking amazing show, and made it's place in the top three shows I've ever seen (Madonna and the opening night of Fleetwood Mac's last tour are the other two).

Life is good and busy right now. I can't believe it's Thanksgiving week already.

How did that happen?

Hallucinations

2007-08-28T22:28:00.000-04:00

On the way home tonight, I made the regular phone call to my parents.

The phone calls started last fall when my maternal grandmother had taken a turn for the worse. Day to day it changed...good day to bad day and back again.

Even after she died in early December, I still continued to call my parents daily. There wasn't much to report after she was gone, so we made 15 minutes of small talk until I got home.

Today's post-work call felt really reminiscent of this time last year.

My parents are now taking care of my paternal grandmother. She turned 90 this year and her mind is still sharp as a tack. She's generally upbeat, but she's been telling people that she's "ready to go" for the last few years.

My dad just returned to work for the first time since late November, so my mom is home alone with gram. Today she said that gram had three hallucinations in the last day.

The Dog
Gram started calling for my mom and asked for her to get the brown and black dog off her bed. She was all upset, the dog sat at the foot of her bed, growling at her.

The Girl
Mom is somewhere in the house when Gram calls for her.
Gram asks my mom, "Who is the girl? Why is she in my room?"
"I'll make sure she leaves. It's okay. Do you need anything?"
"No..."

The Other Girl
Gram had been sleeping, so mom was watching TV on the couch in the other room.
Mom gets up and peeks her head into gram's room, but gram wasn't sleeping. She was just sort of laying there, upright, with her eyes open, but not really look at anything in particular. My mom asks, "How are you, Gram?"
"Where have you been?"
"Watching TV in the other room, why?"
"I sent the girl to get you."
"Oh, well, I'm here. What do you need?"

--------
It hit me as I was typing this all up. I wonder if the girl is Gram's sister. If I recall correctly, her younger sister died when she was about 12 or 13. I don't think this will be the last time she sees things, so I told my mom to keep playing along and ask gram is she knows the girl or other people that she might see.

I remember that we went through this with GG. She'd seen dead relatives and I've often heard of that it's common when death...is approaching.

Hippo Hive Hat

2007-08-27T00:36:00.001-04:00

Hippo Hive Hat
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

Well, I finished it.

I think I started this thing well over a month ago (maybe 2?). Last week I re-started it and finished it up tonight about midnight. It took me FOREVER, so this is one I won't be doing over and over to get the size right.

It's a hippo hive hat because:
The original pattern was a bee-hive, but the yarn store didn't have the yarn listed with the pattern, so I found a substitute (this lovely pink-dyed stuff). Then I thought that bees might look odd on a pink-dyed hive, so I looked around and found these super cute pink hippos.

Sure it's tacky! I don't care. I've pretty much settled on the fact that I will be the token eccentric in my family.

Lightbulb

2007-08-22T22:26:00.000-04:00

I spent my lunch hour in my cubicle today (like I do everyday), except today I spent the hour knitting. It took me one hour to do six rows, so I'm thinking that no matter how giant this hat ends up, it will be the only one I do.

Maybe I'll try something like the handwarmers that Sarah is making...maybe I'll get suckered into starting a sweater. I'd like to aim for the sweater, but if I'm this bored with a hat, I can only imagine how painful a sweater will be.

Okay, so back to my story.

So, after lunch, I was sitting there thinking about how I'm just to be THAT woman. That weird, old, eccentric, woman with like 12 cats who wears odd knit hats and crocheted vests.

It's almost fall.

2007-08-19T16:57:00.000-04:00

It's a perfectly dreary Sunday....just the way I like them. I think it helps that it's also freezing outside.

I've been dying for fall to approach. It's probably my favorite season. Fall finally validates my need to wear sweaters. For some odd reason you just can't explain that to people in the summer.

It's just...a cozy time of year.

I cleaned up the apartment up a bit this morning, got a coffee and headed to my new favorite store, World Market.

I bought some White Chocolate Sauce & Vanilla syrup to try to make my own White Mocha's at home, one of these fruit bowls that i'll use for yarn, another red bowl and the best giraffe mug ever.

Last week I bought an art print by Dan-ah Kim, but I haven't put it up yet.

It's nice to know, though, that 6 months before I move out, my apartment is starting to look lived in.

Just one of those days, don't take it personal

2007-08-14T20:56:00.000-04:00

I'm taking a personal day tomorrow.

Earlier this summer I took my first vacation since I started my job in October 2005.
I've lived in Michigan for nearly two years, now. Most of the time I forget that it's been this long. Sometimes it feels like I've only been here a few months. However, for the vacation time this summer, I felt as though I'd work for 10 years without a break.

I promised myself I wouldn't get to that point again. If I need a break, I'll take one. I have the time.

I haven't got much planned for my day tomorrow. Though, I know I'll be taking in a trip to the Farmer's Market. My first trip since I've moved here. I didn't even know they had one until this past winter.

Other possibilities for tomorrow:

Laundry

Finish Catina Jane's vector

Read more of Harry Potter

Break out the sewing machine and make something

Do something else that's crafty

Whatever I do, I'll take pictures.

Also - Tonight my cat, Jaxon, farted. loud.
I probably laughed for a good 5 minutes about it.

This is an art post.

2007-08-12T20:35:00.000-04:00

I've decided that it's time for me to start investing in artwork. Granted, I don't have a lot of money to spend, but at least I can find stuff I like and save up for that. I'll probably save a few hundred for a print by Aaron Jasinski , a Seattle-based artist I found in my early college years.

This week I spent an obscene amount of time at weheartprints.com. It tends to highlight just the offbeat type of art I like.

From that site I found Dan-ah Kim and bought Le Sigh. I can't wait to frame and hang it. Gorgeous.

I'll just give you the list and you guys can go look them up if you feel like it.

Kris Lewis
Sas Christian
Tara McPherson
Audrey Kawasaki
Lori Earley
Sylvia Ji
James Jean
Julie West
Stella Im Hultberg

I am absolutely in love with works by Kris Lewis and Sas Christian.

I'm sort of a big deal.

2007-08-08T20:42:00.000-04:00

I don't normally talk about work online because I'm not big on the idea of getting fired or anything because of my online doings....

....but....

my company is trademarking one of my vectors for use in a podcast which I host.

I'm going to be effing trademarked, ya'll.

Then (at a later date) downloadable on iTunes.

(this part I'm not a fan of, but somebody had to do it and no one else in my dept jumped at the chance. I have a painfully nasal voice. I'm expecting a lot of critism about that.

Barf.)

Like, whoa.

Tegan & Sara - Gem Theatre - Detroit - August 6, 2007

2007-08-07T09:55:00.001-04:00

DSC06253
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

I'm just gonna say that I'm absolutely in love with these two women.

My co-workers and I went to the Gem Theatre in Detroit last night to see Tegan & Sara. I think it was a full 2-hour set. They played their new album, The Con, in reverse, then switched it up with songs from their second and third albums.

Every time I see someone in concert, there is one song that sort of gets a new meaning, a new...I don't know...appreciation? When i saw them in 2005, I fell head over heels in love with "So Jealous" which was a song I frequently overlooked on the album. This week, I fell in love with "Nineteen," tying it to personal experiences in my life. When they played it last night, it just became so much more powerful.

I'm so glad they put up with the audience last night and played an awesome set. <3 Tee and Ess.

Jump up and shout it, now!

2007-08-05T00:01:00.001-04:00

Jump up and shout it, now!
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

My clones had a dance party tonight.

At least my room was already messy.

Amy Sedaris and Me @ BlogHer

2007-07-28T21:50:00.001-04:00

IMG_1058
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

WOOT WOOT, SUCKAHS!

Day Two, Part 1

2007-07-28T09:42:00.000-04:00

7:24 AM.
I'm sitting in the Starbucks at Millenium Station (Randolph St.) and thought I'd get some writing out. technically I don't have to be at the conference until 9AM, so I might pack my stuff up and head over to Millenium Park since I've (still) never been there. One must get obligatory pics of The Bean and the giant faces that spit water. I don't know if those have a name, or not. Spitting people works good for me.

I've been up since 4 AM. Dreadful. Okay, okay, it's really not that bad. I got more sleep last night, and I dreamt that LeahPeah stopped and talked to me about BlogHer. Then I slept some more on the train, which is a first. Go me.

So, this conference really is amazing. It's a sociologists dream. People who connect online in a variety of ways - friendship, artistic admiration, building business relationships, etc. All without meeting each other in person. Some met for the first time at the conference.

Yesterday I had lunch with some great women - Nina, Erica, Sarah and Denise.

Other highlights included seeing Elise Bauer speak to a packed room about how to make your blog visible/getting the traffic you want. These women are unbelieveably witty, intelligent, and tech smart. I absolutely loved it.

For now, that's all I've got to say.

Today is going to explode with awesomeness.

BlogHer - Day One: The AfterBlog

2007-07-28T06:07:00.000-04:00

(I wrote this as I was coming home last night and it's 5 AM right now, so I'll link this up later.)

I'm writing from the train after the first day of BlogHer '07. It really was an awesome day. I'll have to check my history so that I can identify those who I met or saw speak on various panels throughout the day.

I did stick to the technical track, which was mostly back end blog stuff (stats, programming, etc.). And as odd as it is, I think I felt more comfortable there than at the last Art track session, where I would think that I would feel at home. Ah, well.

I talked to a few people today, which was nice. It's hard for me to get to know people. I know that part of the whole blogging thing is to just put yourself out there..but that's a completely foreign concept to me. Networking is sort of a nightmare for me.

But, I'm having a great time and really looking forward to today!
Ariel! Amy! WOOT WOOT!

BlogHer 2007.

2007-07-27T09:43:00.000-04:00

I suspect I'll be blogging throughout the day.

I took the 6:15 train into the city and decided to walk to Navy Pier. Hotdamn, what a bad idea. It's a little too humid to be doing that and I'm a little paranoid that I'm going to rock Fergie's favorite stage look.

BlogHer is in action, and until just a fewmoments ago, I sat here alone at breakfast. As I walked down the massive thing that is Navy Pier, I met a woman from LA and since I have such a bad memory, I forgot her name within seconds. I think it's Liz. But, I'm probably wrong.
(If you're reading, i'm sorry! Bad memory.)

Brought to you by this week's embarassment.

2007-06-29T22:23:00.001-04:00

I like Blondie.
I have a sort of fascincation with how hot Debbie Harry was during Blondie's height of fame.
I feel sexy when I listen to Blondie. It's totally embarassing that I just admitted that to the blogosphere - but, it's true.

Anyway. Point of my story is that earlier this week I downloaded some Blondie tunes, but I didn't listen to them until I got to work later that day.

Heart of Glass, Call Me, One Way or Another, and Rapture.

So, I did some normal cube dancing to the first three and then let out a gasp of horror when "Rapture" started.

"I DOWNLOADED A COVER. A BAD COVER! OMGZ!"

I checked the cover art on my iPod and it looked like a Blondie album. The vocal started and I thought it sounded like Debbie Harry....to my horror it WAS. Apparently i've never heard the beginning of the song - for as long as I can remember, I've only ever heard the 'rap' part.

The beginning of the song is horrid. I'm sort of glad that I spared myself all this time.

IMG_0511.JPG

2007-06-26T20:53:00.001-04:00

IMG_0511.JPG
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

Last week I spent an absurd amount of money on makeup, and today it arrived.

~~Sometimes~~ I like to buy myself things online just to ensure that I have a highlight for a day. You know, a day where the highlight checking the mail, only to find more mail for Sharon (apparently the last person who lived in my apartment); or cuddlin' with the cat on the couch while watching The Office (i'll never complain about that, but that's a little sad if it's a highlight). And, you know, it's better than having a "Come to Jesus" meeting at work. Everything is better than that.

Atleast the girls and I have decided to go out for wine on days like that.

So, back to my story - I got the makeup today - Bare Minerals. Google it if you're not sure what that is.
It's a bit of a process at first and actually has an instructional DVD. I wasn't so sure how much I'd like makeup that required an instruction manual of sorts.

I had my MacBook with me, so I popped in the DVD and watched it as I worked. When lunch came around, I thought "hell, why not. I'll try it." So, I sat infront of my laptop and used the web-cam as a mirror. That didn't fair so well, so I opted for a regular mirror. Even with that, I've decided that one should not try complicated makeup with bad flourescent lighting. Christ, it was disappointing. That much money and I don't look even a little different.

I tried the whole shebang again when I got home, tried it on with the dress and new shoes - It might just be worth it now.

Clearly I'm a cat person.

2007-06-21T11:40:00.001-04:00

almosttheshotiwanted
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

My dad is a bit of a crier.

2007-06-16T19:09:00.000-04:00

I'm a crier, I get it from my dad.
Extreme Home Makeover? Sniffle. Happy ending to a romantic comedy? Sob.
There are a few times a year you can count on my dad for a few crocodile tears.
Valentine's Day, my parent's anniversary, birthdays, christmas (double cry points when "It's A Wonderful Life" is played on TV).
More than likely, Father's Day falls into that category.

Remember the year I cross-stitched for him?

This is still sitting (framed) next to his bed.

This year I'm a little tight on funds. It's a second strike for a person like me - I'm also a notoriously bad gift-getter. So, I thought, "Hey - Isn't my mere presence gift enough?" Apparently it was!

Last night I decided that i'd drive home for the weekend and surprise him. I talked to my mom last night and told her I was planning to leave Michigan after I finished with work. I talked to my dad today after work as I was starting my trek to Indiana.
Dad: "So, what are you up to this weekend?"
Me: "Eh..probably just going to hang out with the cat. Maybe clean the apartment. It's a little crappy, so I'm not going to go hang out at the pool."

When I got to my parent's house I found him and said, "HAPPY FATHER'S DAY"

Of course he turned around and burst into tears! What a sap!

0602beach6.jpg

2007-06-03T23:18:00.001-04:00

0602beach6.jpg
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

I went to Evanston this weekend to see Erin. Last night we went out drinking and dancing.

Anyway, before we did that, we went to the beach.

I need more weekends like that.

Except with less road construction.

Saturday, May 12, 2007 - Revisited.

2007-05-29T23:12:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I saw Bjork with my long-time friend, Jen(n).

1.) I don't know about you, but I have a hard time sitting down during the first song of any concert (unless it's a symphony or something). The band/musician/whatever comes out and usually opens with some kick ass song. The latest single, "Earth Intruders" was the first song, it's not exactly a sit-down ballad! And someone chucked a wad of paper at me for standing up. Good aim, but what an ass. We were in the balcony. It's not like said person couldn't also stand up, and why wouldn't s/he? Lameass.

2.) Every few days I go to YouTube and look for videos from the show. After a show like that, some songs are never the same again. I saw a performance of "Declare Independence" from Coachella on SuicideGirls one day, and it blew my mind. I knew I was instore for sensory overload. The show was. I could go to Bjork concerts everyday. I don't think I'd ever grow tired of it.

HyperBallad was insane. Some people have their songs, themes, or whatnot. This is one of mine.

Mindblowing, also watch Army of Me. Amazing.

Fortune

2007-05-26T00:37:00.001-04:00

52207
Originally uploaded by cowboyjane

"You may attend a party where strange customs prevail."

Perhaps it was referring to BlogHer '07.