I'm not great at blogging, or keeping in touch with people in general, but I can tell you some things about the last nine months:

- It's been pretty emotional. I did good at my birthday resolution of positivity for about 3 weeks, then some personal stuff happened and it has been a rollercoaster ever since. Thankfully, it has recently reached a plateau and I couldn't be more thankful for it. I still have some emotional evening out to do, but I think I am headed in the right direction.

- I'm slowly making myself leave the house and do stuff, hoping it will help me get over my social anxiety. I made a really good friend in the last six months, so we try to get out at least once a week. Upcoming events: This American Life live broadcast and Roller Derby Match! Super fun, man. SUPER FUN.

- In other news, I am anticipating a surgical consult for my right hand. It seems that my hand function went down the drain as soon as we all rang in the new year.

I'm gonna get better at all of this. Promise.

33 days in.

I've not been good about blogging since turning 26. I thought I might use it at a catalyst to living each day as if it were my last.

For a long time, I don't know how long...I've been thinking that I wouldn't live past 26. It's not like I'm afraid of getting old, but I just always thought I'd die on or during my 26th year. So, this is it.

But, I thought for a bit that I wouldn't even make it. The night before my birthday I nearly got killed by a driver who may or may not have been drunk. But, had he not swerved at the last minute to avoid my car (which had been waiting, with the blinker on, for cars to pass so I could turn left), I would've been rear ended at about 65-70 mph. My body is too weak, I tensed up and watched the pick-up truck get closer and closer until the lights in my rearview mirror were blinding me. Thankfully for the both of us, he swerved and I could feel the rush of air caused by his car passing me with not much space to spare.

Since then, I don't think I've had any near misses in the car. Woot woot!

I've got a few goals for this year, though:
+ Starting on my birthday, I have consciously tried to pass on thriving on sarcasm, and to really make an effort remain positive even in tough circumstances.

+Living as if it's my last. No, I'm not going to go crazy, but I will take advantage of opportunities that I feel will in some way contribute positively to my life.

+Should I make it to 27, I plan to do the Coney Island Polar Bear Swim on New Years Day. I decided that I wanted to do it after seeing Extreme Maggie do it. Yes, I'm a little crazy. It's okay. I own it!

+ New ink.

That's really it.

Oh, and I'm trying that 365 Project again.

Just incase you forgot what a gem this movie was...

Twenty-six

Dear birthday,
You were a pretty good one today....you started slow with a coffee from Starbucks, followed by a few hours of design work. Calls from relatives were received, the first of which was nephew number 3 (I'm pretty sure he's 10), calling from his cell phone. My sister (who called much later in the day) says he's very big on calling people for his birthday...it was very sweet and appreciated. We caught up on how his summer is going, how school ended up, etc.

A bit later I drove up to Grand Rapids to see my oldest nephew play in a baseball tournament. His team won this morning, but lost the afternoon game.

Back to my sister's house afterward for cake and prezzies. I lucked out with cash/gift cards which are one-size-fits all. I will definitely make the most out of those. New shoes & tattoo? Sounds good to me!

I am once again attempting the 365 project....documenting the 365 days of my 26th year. I'll write more about that tomorrow, but for tonight, I'm ready to hit the sack.

xo,
V

Just a few days shy of 26.

My 26th birthday is on Saturday and every year, I view it as a chance to re-evaluate the new year's resolutions I set at the beginning of the year. Though, as I look through some archives, I'm unable to find any that I might've made for 2008. So, I guess I get to really start with a clean slate. Being twenty-six has an odd sort of significance which I will post about soon, but I'm excited for this year to really get going.

Tomorrow I'll be spending part of the morning working on a logo for a local hand surgeon. I told him I'd have stuff for him in two weeks...well, two weeks is tomorrow, so I need to get to work.

Since my dad is working an odd schedule at work, my mom drove up to Michigan today. It's nice to have her here on my birthday, even though there are no real plans for the day.

Ah well. On we go!

I love Fridays...and these things, too:

Today is friday and I thought I would share somethings with you.

• Gala Darling
  Over the last few weeks, I've been getting my daily dose of Gala Darling. I found her on flickr sometime last year when I was looking at tattoos. She's got some AMAZING ink, and that's just the beginning. Gala is a one-woman style powerhouse and I kind of love that.


• Buck Hollywood
  If you've been on YouTube at all this week, you probably caught a thumbnail from his Dance video as he and his fans join in the biggest YouTube Dance Battle. Find him over at Buck Hollywood.


• Cyndi Lauper
  Wednesday night I went to the True Colors Tour show in Detroit and it was beyond amazing...for a few reasons:
  
  I've already mentioned my love for The B52s. They were amazing, and played everything I could've wanted. Kate, Cindy, and Fred sounded awesome, just like they have for decades.
  Cyndi Lauper blew me away. I didn't care so much about seeing her, but she truly rocked the place that night. Consider me a fan, now....go download "Into the Nightlife."
  
  Though it may sound corny, part of why I thought the show was so amazing was because there was this collection of queer folks, their hags, their dyke tykes, allies, etc. Everyone just "got it." Everyone there understood the inequality that our community faces everyday. That we can't hold our partner's hand in public, without the fear of verbal or physical abuse by passersby, we don't necessarily have the right to visit our partner in the hospital, and for some reason, our relationships aren't seen as 'valid' as hetero relationships.
  
  Everyone there that night understood that..and to me, that was so much bigger than any flamboyant Gay Pride parade or festival in the world.
• Thoughts of Travel
  All I think about these days is a trip out west to Seattle or Portland.

New Beginnings...and the B52's

Tonight was a new beginning for me. Some readers (ie - my friends that read this) know I've had Rheumatoid Arthritis for about 20 years at this point. I've been on a slew of meds for it my whole life. 2 years ago when I moved to Michigan, I had to find a new Rheumatologist. She had me try Enbrel, and ohmygod, it was like a total miracle. No pain/stiffness/swelling, etc. I've been on this med for almost two years, but have continued to struggle with the sting. Pre-filled? Ow. Sure-click? OHMYGOD, OW!

It was my first night on the mixable version of Enbrel.
Sometimes it would take me 3-4 hours to actually administer the Sure-Click, so I asked my doctor about the mixable version. I'd read online (oddly enough, over at Ravelry) that the mixable version doesn't sting...it just takes a bit longer because of the setup. After the amount of time I'd spend trying to deal with the Sure-Click, I knew I had to try this.

It only took about 5 minutes to mix up, 10 to fully dissolve, and maybe 10 before I got the nerve to hit the needle to the skin. That's way quicker - AND PAINLESS! Woot Woot!

In non-medical news, I saw Tom Petty last Saturday in Detroit and he was amazing. I cried during "Free Fallin'" and danced like no one was watching during "American Girl." What a great show, I'm so glad I was able to see him finally.

Next Wednesday, I'm off to see Cyndi Lauper/The B52's (!!!!!!!!)/Tegan & Sara/The Cliks. Is it bad that I don't care too much about anyone but the B52's? My love for them is another blog post for another day.

My laziness shows in my blog, too!

Blogging for LGBT Families!

My workplace participated in a health study and for the first time, I took part as well. For the most part, my results didn't surprise me - I have poor nutrition & fitness habits. What did happen to catch me off guard is that my bad cholesterol is rather high. Ah well, hopefully if I increase the exercise part, everything else will even out.

In other news, I have a flare for completely redonkulus items that would be better left unpurchased...just about every other pay day I spend money on things like this:



I plan to buy those in a few weeks as a birthday present to myself...as if paying for my car insurance wasn't gift enough. :)

Ps - Did I mention that I'm going to see New Kids on the Block in Detroit? Yeah, I so am.

May 28, 2008.

Tonight I went for a walk. A friend of mine works a few blocks from my apartment, so I gathered a few things and headed out the door. Much of the walk, I kept thinking, "I can't believe I'm walking somewhere. This is so not like me." But, it's something I'm trying to do - walk a few days every week.

At work, my department will soon be relocating to a new building, so I've got to pack up my desk a bit. My current cube is decorated with 5 Kermit the Frog dolls in various sizes and other small toys that would amuse a 5 year old. The new cube will have 1 kermit doll, a Sunshine Buddy, and maybe some photos. And Ellen. Pictures of Ellen, because sometimes it's just nice to look up and see something that will make me smile. Either way, the new place will have a more streamlined (but fun!) look that I can't wait to make a reality.


Also, I was relieved to hear that Kirsten Dunst made a statement saying that she sought treatment for depression. I found it kind of refreshing that someone in young hollywood sought help for something other than a substance abuse problem.

Turning a corner

I didn't hit bottom, I've been in a worse mental space than just recently, but thankfully something has sparked.

I feel like my mind has been a million miles a minutes with thoughts - it's all been work related stuff, but since I've been in such a rut with that, it's nice to feel some sort of passion at all. I think once I spill my thoughts to the necessary people, re-organize my work-life, I think I'll be more prepared to deal with more personal dilemmas. That's kind of how I work - I only have enough...mind power to deal with one big thing at a time. Since my work affects my cashflow, I've got to deal with that first.

I was going to post a video clip from E!'s Girls Next Door where Bridget Marquardt dresses her dog up as a bunny, but Wednesday goes "Dogatonic." However, it appears that clip has been removed from YouTube and I can't find it anywhere. It's the best clip from that show. Ever. It can cheer anyone up.
JEN FOUND IT!